Belly Pictures :o)

I am a little late with this, but I think I figured out how to do it.
Here goes....

15 weeks pregnant


25 weeks pregnant




David and I at Christmastime. :o)

We are expecting a healthy Baby BOY!!! :o)

I am 20 weeks pregnant this week. Thank You God, Praise the Lord! I am so thankful for this miracle!
We had our anatomy scan at 18 weeks and found out that we are having a son! Baby boy is looking completely healthy and growing just as he should be. He was moving all around during our ultrasound, he was like a little jumping bean. It was so amazing to watch. We have a DVD from that ultrasound and some beautiful profile pictures. I had to go in for a repeat scan this week at 20 weeks because the tech missed some measurements of his heart and face. Of course, I was nervous and worried, but everything turned out great and our son is looking absolutely perfect.

Being pregnant is the most amazing expierence I have had in my life so far. After 3 years of infertiltiy and lossing 2 babies to early miscarriages we are being blessed with our miracle. Unfortunately, I probably worry alot more than I should, but my past has left me with some PTSD. I am trying my best to enjoy every single moment of this journey. I am not taking anything for granted.
I felt the baby kick for the first time at 18.5 weeks. It was so surreal. Now I feel him kicking and moving everyday. It is the most wonderful feeling ever. I have dreamt of this moment for so long. Every kick astonishes me. That little kick fills me with so much love and joy. David felt our son kick for the first time this week. It was so great to be able to share that moment with him and I never will forget it.
I am just so thankful for what our future together holds. For now I am enjoying every small milestone that we pass. I love this child more than I ever thought possible.
I continue to pray and thank God everyday for this miracle. God is Great!

First Trimester *~*~*~ God Has Truly Blessed Us!

We are almost 11 weeks pregnant with our amazing miracle! I have had 4 sonograms. This has been the most amazing expierence in my whole life! Of course, I am still nervous alot and find myself pinching my arm "Is this real?", but I know it is and God is amazing!
Our first sonogram was at 6w3d. We saw our beautiful baby and the amazing heartbeat at 106bpm. Everything was measuring a bit behind for our first sonogram, the baby measured 5w5d.
Our second sonogram was at 7w3d. The baby grew and was measuring right on target. We heard the beautiful heartbeat again at 148bpm.
Our third sonogram was at 8w3d. Our baby grew so much and we could make out his or her head and bottom. Beautiful heartbeat at 173bpm.
Our fourth songram and last visit with our great Re Dr. M. was at 9w3d. We could make out our baby's head, body, bottom, arms and legs. It was so amazing! We saw and heard our beautiful baby's heartbeat at 189bpm. The baby was even moving around. Pure joy and gratefulness filled me.
I was released to my OB. So that means no more weekly ultrasounds. It makes me sad that I wont get to see our baby as much, but it is such a great step to be released to a regular OB. Our next sonogram probably won't be until 18wks. to 20wks.

I ordered a home fetal doppler (Sonoline B) and it should arrive by the end of the week. I am very excited that we will be able to listen to our miracle's heartbeat at home whenever we want! I pray that we are able to find it easily. Sometimes home dopplers can lead to more worry instead of comfort, but I have faith that it will work great.

I guess now I will talk about the different symptoms that I have had so far. I am on progesterone supplements because my progesterone was on the low side. I do a PIO injection every night along with suppositories.
My first symptom was a heaviness in my breast, that was before I even took the HPT. Then around 6w5d I was hit with horrible all day moring sickness. It slowly got worse and to the point where I couldnt keep anything down and became dehydrated. My Re prescribed me a medication called promethazine. It is a Wonder drug! I feel 95% better. Headaches just recently started. They come and go. Nothing to bad. I also have to admit to mood swings, but my husband is so amazing and has been so wonderful. I am so thankful to have such an amazing man as my best friend and husband. He is going to be an amazing Daddy! :o)

I know this post is all great news, but I do want to say that infertility still effects me on a daily basis. I refuse to have "IF Amnesia". The struggles and loss of our 2 angels still way heavily on me and worry is never far from the front of my mind. My faith in God is what keeps me going and keeps optimistic. I have so much faith that God will protect and provide for this amazing new life growing inside of me.
My due date is March 30, 2012. :o)

<3 <3 <3 Thank You God! Praise the Lord! <3 <3 <3

God is Great! Our Miracle BFP!!! :o)

Wow, this is the most amazing post to our blog so far. God has given us our miracle and we are so very grateful! I took an HPT on Friday 7/22/11. I expected it to be negative. To our amazement 2 perfect lines where staring back at me! We concieved naturally! My surgeries in May 2011 to remove my stage 4 endometreosis was successful. God has given us our miracle. The moment was so surreal. All I could do was cry and hug David. My whole heart and soul filled with joy!

I called my RE 5 minutes after taking a second HPT to confirm our BFP. I was told to come in the next day, Sat. 7/23/11, for a Beta and progesterone check. I honestly expected a low Beta. I was only 12dpo according to my BBT chart. I got the call from my RE in the afternoon, my results where in. I heard Congratulations! Your Beta is 113 and progesterone is 13. The moment felt so surreal. All I remember saying was Thank You God! =)

At this point the excitement and joy completely overtook me. I knew that God was giving us the miracle that we have been praying for. That day was spent talking to God and thanking Him for blessing us so greatly and calling my family members. It was an amazing day! My faith is so strong!

I have had 3 more blood tests. These are all my results.....
12dpo 7/23/11- Beta= 113 Progesterone=13
14dpo 7/25/11- Beta= 298 Progesterone= 19
16dpo 7/27/11- Beta= 636 Progesterone= 17.7
18dpo 7/29/11- Beta= 1,352 Progesterone= 21.4

We have 2 angel babies. We lost our first child at 4wks in Jan. 2011. In April 2011 we recieved another BFP, we lost our second child at 5.5wks. I Love and Miss my Angels So Much! <3
We have never made it this far in a pregnancy. All I can say is that I feel so different this time. I am completely filled with Faith and I Believe that God will protect and provide for this new life in my womb. I have faith that we will give birth to a happy and healthy child in 9 months. It is an amazing feeling! :o)

We are scheduled for our first ultrasound on Monday August 8, 2011. David and I are so excited to "meet" our child and to see him or her growing strong and healthy! We continue to pray and ask others to pray for this miraculous new life given to us from God. My faith remains strong! We are so excited for our first ultrasound.
After struggling with Infertiltiy for 3+ years I feel that our prayers have been answered. I believe with all that God has given us our miracle!
Thank You God! Praise the Lord!

Our First Ultrasound!

Giving it the Old Skool natural try this cycle......

So after surgery and then getting a BFN with our IUI in June we decided that we needed a break. I have no idea why our last IUI was unsuccessful. I had 6 great follicles, but there where some blips in my cycle. I had a premature LH surge and am wondering if that messed up the whole cycle. Who knows, Only God.

So we had a big family vacation in Myrtle Beach at the end of June. Of course AF started the day before we left, but this made us have to take a break. I am so glad that we went to the ocean. It was so relaxing and I got to spend the whole week with my wonderful family! Sort of an IF free week. :)

Today is CD 20 and I just had my BBT temp. rise. I ovulated pretty late this cycle. I got my first + OPK on CD 16 and then an even darker one on CD 17. We have been BDing every day for the last 5 days. I know that we definaely caught my ovulation! I am pretty excited about this! Our chances of a natural conception are pretty low (I dont know the exact %), but there is Always a chance! We gave it our absolute best this cycle and that is all I could have hoped for.
I am now in my first natural 2ww since Nov. 2010. Well more of a 12-13 day wait. I have Faith! I believe that God will give us miracle! I pray that this cycle will be The One!

If AF does show her ugly face in less than 2 weeks we will be attempting another IUI with injectables.
I am having some great feelings for our fertility in the next couple months. All I can do is keep my Faith in God and believe with all my heart and soul that He will give us miracle! I do believe!

I also ordered a beautiful necklace to remember our only 2 children who are in heaven with God. It will be great to have this and always have something that I can touch and feel close to my heart!
Hope Noel and Lucas David, Mommy and Daddy Love You So Much! <3333

To CARPENTERS :o)

I am sorry, I can not figure out how to comment on my own blog. BLAHHHH. So I wanted to reply to your comment, but I tried and tried and I can not figure out how to stay signed in so this is the only way I could leave you a comment, I even tried making a new account. I am obviously not very good at this, haha.
Here was my comment to you.....

I hope and pray that you have a smooth surgery tomorrow! I am doing really well, thank you! Some advice, you will awake in pain, but my nurses took real good care of me with pain meds. You will be real sleepy and want to sleep all day! When you do get home I recommend that you sleep almost sitting up. I put 2 pillows under my back and head so that the gas could not travel under my shoulders. I had no shoulder pain. Its nice to have someone there with you the day after. My mom was with me but I was up and walking and felt pretty good. Drink your fluids and stay hydrated. You will be very bloated for about a week and half. Have a bunch of streachy, comfy pants to wear for a few days or the whole week. ;)
Unfortunately I was diagnosed with Severe, Stage 4 endometerosis. I am a bit overwhelmed with this diagnosis but relieved to have answeres and it feels great to know that I am now "cleaned out". My right ovary was covered in adhesions and was stuck to my tube and bowel. My Lt. ovary was pretty bad too. My Re did get rid of most of the endo. I am now feeling good but got a very painful AF 3 days ago. I started stimming tonight for my first IUI since the surgery (really IUI #5). My RE is really optimistic and so am I! :o)
Please let me know how your surgery goes and I am here for you if you have any questions! You are in my thoughts and prayers. I know you'll do Great!!! I pray you find some simple answers. Good Luck Tomorrow!

Laparoscopy, Hysterscopy and D&C Surgery on May 4, 2011

After losing our second Angel on April 15, 2011 my RE decided that I should have some surgeries because he suspected that I had endometeosis. I have NO symptoms of endo except for a heavy and sometimes painful periods. At first I was not sure if I wanted the surgeries, I mean we have gotten pregnant twice with IUI, maybe it wasn't needed. Surgery is scary, but after losing our second baby with in a 3 month span I knew that we had to do something. I trust my RE and I have faith in him and decided that we needed answers. Why am I miscarring when I concieve? Maybe these surgeries will provide answers. Honestly I expected my doctor to come back with next to nothing after surgery....WHOA, was I Wrong!

I awoke in the hospital completely out of it, but completely aware of the pain I was feeling. I had the surgeries all at the same time. The Hysterscopy is done vaginally. A camera goes thru my cervix which is dialated and looks ay my uterus. They also look to see that both ends of my fallopian tubes are normal and open. I think everything was normal with this procedure. The D&C is also similar. My doctor scraped or sucuctioned a part of my uterus and the sample is then sent for testing. I will know the results in 2 weeks. The Laparscopy is the most interesting to me. They inserted a camera thru my belly button and also made 3 small incisions in my lower abdomen for the surgical instuments that were used, this was the laparascopy. My doctor then looks at my ovaries, outer uterus and fallopian tubes. He looked for any endo or cysts and then removes anything that is harmful or that can be causing our infertiltiy.
When I finally made it to post op and got to see my wonderful husband David I felt much better. In David's hand was 9 sheets of picture paper, 8 pictures on each sheet. My doctor had met with David while I was in recovery and explained what he had found and what was done to my reproductive organs. Let me just say, WOW! These images just amazed me! It turns out that I do have endometeosis and I had alot of it. My ovaries were completely covered with endo. My ovaries also had adhesions all over them, they were stuck to other organs in my body. The adhesions are what amazes me the most. My wonderful doctor "freed" my ovaries by cutting away all the scar tissue (adhesions) and removed a few cysts. It just amazes me that we were even able to concieve our 2 precious children. I now have answers as to why I may have lost them. I also had dye inserted into my fallopian tubes to see if they are open and blockage free. Thank God, Yes, my tubes are open and clear! It is hard to explain in words what the pictures show. I am not computer savy, but I will find a way to post these pictures. I am so happy that I had these surgeries and that I have such a wonderful, skilled doctor! We may even be able to concieve our children naturally now! I am so thankful and grateful.
I do not have my official diagnosis yet. I will have an appt. with my RE in about 2 weeks to go over all of his findings and figure out our next step. He will explain all of the pictures to me and we will finally have a daignosis for our Infertiltiy, I am no longer "unexplained". It feels wonderful to finally have some answers.
So I will update when I have my post op appointment.

I feel as if my reproductive organs have had a tune up and oil change. :o) I feel like we have a brand new start in trying to concieve. I am all "cleaned out" and ready to build our family!
Please continue to pray for us. I pray to God, Jesus, Mary, St. Jude and St. Gianna always. I have complete faith! I Believe! We will beat Infertiltiy!!!
God is Great!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

We Lost Our Baby :( We now have 2 children in Heaven.

I got the horrible news on April 15, 2011 that my Beta had dropped. A miscarriage is on the way. :( I am beyond words. My body feels as if my heart and soul are slowly and painfully being ripped from my body. When I wake up the next morning I feel EMPTY. I feel as something Huge has been lost and that it will never be found or put back. The empiness feeling is probably the hardest to deal with. What once was a growing healthy new life in my womb is now dying and leaving my body. This is so painful. I am trying to stay strong but it is hard. This is our second child we have lost in 4 short months. It doesnt seem fair, but my faith tells me that there is a reason that my baby had to go with God. My faith is still strong! I will not give up this fight! God is good! I believe 100% that we WILL have a healthy child soon. Infertility will NOT win! We WILL win!!! This is a promise to myself and just something that I have faith in.

I am only one out of 8 million Amercians who is suffering with this disease. I believe more awareness needs to be brought forth. The government does not seem to take this disease as serious as it should be taken. Only 14 states in the USA have mandatory insurance coverage for IF. The rest of us have to pay Everything out of pocket. I feel Infertility is compared to cosmetic surgery and that infuriates me! The places that we infertiles have to go to for loans are the same company's that give loans for boobs jobs, I mean WTF!?!? Most woman are born with completely healthy reproductive organs and having children is just the normal thing, it's the way God made woman. Well Infertility means that we have some underlying problem or disease that is keeping us from being able to reproduce. Why isnt it seen this way??? Something needs to change. Infertiltiy is a very real disease. It causes horrible depression and aniexty. It causes plenty of physical pain. We need a change and we need it soon! Please help this cause in anyway that you can. Do some research and find ways to help. Chances are that someone close to you is suffering but they are suffering in silence due to embarassement. As a woman it is embarassing not to be able to do what most other women can due without any second thoughts about it.
I have lost the only children that I have to Infertility and I will Never give up this fight!

18 days post IUI #4 ~ God is Great!!!

I had my thrid Beta test today and am so happy! I am relieved and full of joy and praise! My faith is so strong and 100% believe that we have a completely healthy and strong baby growing inside my womb. I have been praying to God, Jesus and Saint Gianna everyday, a few times a day. I am so grateful for our miracle!

Beta's are suppose to double every 48hrs to 72hrs, but 48hrs is the normal range. Here are my results so far!
13dpiui- Beta 25 ... Progesterone 10
14dpiui- Beta 37 ... Progesterone 17 (this one was taken 24hrs from the first one)
18dpiui- Beta 150 ... Progesterone 20.1
I go in Wed. for another Beta whitch is done through blood work. We are looking for it to be somewhere around 300.
Then in about 2 weeks we will have our very first ultrasound. We will get to see our Sweet Pea and hopefully be able to hear a nice, strong heartbeat!

Tomorrow, April 12th, is my birthday and this is the most Amazing birthday I have ever had. I am so blessed and I am so thankful and grateful for the new life that we created and all the amazing people in my life!

Dear God, Jesus and St. Gianna,
I praise and worship you! I am so thankful and grateful for the strong and healthy new life that is growing perfectly in my womb. I feel You all with me and it is so amazing. Please watch over our miracle baby always. Please let my Beta's keep rising and doubling every 48 hrs. Please let our baby have a strong heartbeat. Please let our baby be completely healthy in everyway. I have complete faith in all of You. I always need You, but right now I really need You all more than I ever have before. I believe 100% that you will protect the new life growing in my womb and give us a healthy 9 months of pregnancy and finally the delivery of our healthy child! Thank you so much for this Wonderful gift, this Amazing miracle! I am so grateful! Please hear and answer these prayers God, Jesus and St. Gianna. I have complete faith in all of You and I love You all with all that I am.
Amen!

God is Great!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

IUI #4 = Big Fat Positive!!! God is Good! :0)

Well today was my first BETA 4/6/2011. I am either 12dpo or 13dpo. It is hard to pinpoint the exact date. I had gotten the call in the early afternoon. The first thing I hear is "Congratulations you are Pregnant"!
Praise God was my first thought. This may finally be THE ONE, our miracle baby.
My first Beta was 25.
 I was hoping and praying for a higher number, but I am filled with Joy! My progesterone was 10. So things are looking pretty good right now. I go back tomorrow morning 4/7/2011 for another Beta to check and see if it is rising. I am scared because just 3 short months ago we lost our precious baby. I do not know if I can handle another loss. I have faith in God and I believe that my Beta will show a nice rise tomorrow. That is the most important thing in early pregnancy, my Beta HAS to rise or else I will miscarry and loose another one of my precious children. I have been praying to Saint Gianna and I feel that she is with me.

I need my lil Sweet Pea to continue growing, to be healthy and strong, and have my Beta numbers rise consistantly. This is a very stressful process. Tomorrow could be The Best day of my life! My birthday is on April 12th. This is the most amazing birthday present Ever! I am so very blessed! Thank you God, Jesus and Saint Gianna for giving us our miracle that we have been waiting for. I have complete faith in You all and I believe with all my heart and soul that You will protect our little one from any harm so that we will have a healthy 9 months of pregnancy and deliver a healthy child.
God is Great!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

2 Week Wait for Final IUI (#4)

I am now 4dpIUI. The hardest part of fertility treatments is the 2ww. Your mind goes back and fourth, I am pregnant to No, it didnt work. It is so exhausting! The 2 weeks seem to go by so slow. I analyze every single symptom that I have. I am so anxious with this IUI because it is our final try. I am really afraid to hear your Beta was negative. If we are unsuccessful this means I have to have surgery and then move onto IVF.
IVF costs about 12,000.00 a try and you only have a 30% to 40% chance of it working. It makes me so mad that insurance does not cover any of this! Infertiltiy is a very debilitating disease, it should be treated as one! My mind never stops... How will we afford IVF? If we ask for donations for our cause will people even help us? What if it does not work and we may have to live childless for the rest of our lives? These thoughts haunt me every single day! I can not even imagine living the rest of my life without being a Mommy. Tears come to my eyes instantly at the thought. God, this is so hard!

I am trying to be completely positive this cycle. This is the Best cycle I have ever had! I am so excited yet so afraid. I bought special visulazation meditation CD's to listen to every day. For the first time in over 2 years I am allowing myself to be hopeful. In my mind I AM pregnant! I WILL have a positive pregnancy test! We are recieving our Miracle! So right now I have one or two Sweet Pea's (embryo's) growing in my tubes. They are growing hunderds and thousands of cells. They are dividing and becoming strong. My Sweet Pea will implant into my uterus! We are pregnant! This is my everyday thought process. I will find out the results 4 days before my 29th birthday. Oh what an amazing birthday present this will be! April 8, 2011 will be the best day of our lives!
I have complete Faith and I Believe!

Final IUI tomorrow at 9:30 am. Very Excited!

Well this is it, Our final IUI! It is on 3/24/2011. I am so excited, yet also scared. I am feeling healthy and positive. My protocol was 300ui Follistim in the am and 300ui of Bravelle in the pm. I stimmed for 9 days. My last u/s and b/w was on 2/22/2011. U/S and B/W results.....
Lt. Ovary- 19.5mm, 18.5mm, 16mm
Rt Ovary- 16.5mm, 16.5mm, 15.5mm
Lining- 11.6mm perefct triphastic pattern
Estridol- 1,117
This was all done 15 hrs. before trigger so I am asumming I have had more growth in my follicles and Estridol levels. It looks like I have 5 or 6 mature healthy follicles! My thinking is that out of 5 follicles one of them will release the most perfect, high quality egg! That egg will fertalize and implant, maybe even two! I am very excited and I think my odds of success are very high for this cycle.  My Beta is scheduled for
April 8, 2011. This is 4 days before my 29th birthday! I am praying that this will be the BEST birthday gift ever! My faith is strong and I believe it is our time!
We can use all the positive thoughts and prayers possible :)
I will keep you all updated and hopefully I will be jumping for joy with a BFP!!!
<3 <3 <3

On to my Final IUI (IUI #4)

Well on 2/23/2011 I recieved a BFN from IUI #3. I had really high hopes after my positive in Jan. It is still so hard knowing that my precious Angel is gone, but I know she is happy with God in Heaven. This gives me some comfort.
I am now waiting to start IUI #4. This will be my final IUI and I am so scared, nervous and excited! I do not want to give up, but unfortunately insurance does not cover anything. All of our procedures are out of pocket. If this IUI fails we will be moving onto IVF in July 2011, if we have the money. IVF is about $20,000.00! Why does this have to be so hard???? It just does'nt feel fair. I keep calm by knowing that God is with me always and I believe that He will give us our miracle!
IUI #4 should start in the next few days. My RE is going with an aggressive approach since this is my final cycle with him. I will be on FSH injections only. I am hoping and praying that this will make my follicles and eggs healthier and completely mature. I am also hoping that this will give me at least 4 mature follicles to ovulate. This will be my 3rd month doing acupuncture. I Love acupuncture, but this is also very pricey. It is suppose to help me make healthy eggs by increasing the blood flow through my reproductive organs and balancing my Chi. We have so many people praying for us and that brings me joy and comfort. It is amazing how much support my husband and I have. I am so grateful and thankful for all of you!
I will update as my cycle continues and hopefully this IUI will bring us the baby that we long for!

Great... Now a Cyst in my ovary ... ARGGHHH and Small things are sending me to into saddness

Well I finally recieved AF on Jan. 10th. I went to my RE the next day for b/w and u/s. I alreday had a dominant follicle growing, but my left ovary showed a cyst. He thought I would be fine and that I could start my stim. meds, but the b/w came back with my estridol ay 431. So I am now on Birth control. I take four pills a day for five days! This seems like alot to me, but I only have one more day left. I am praying that the cyst is gone when AF comes after I am finished with the BCP.

As you all I know I had my first pregancy and then my first miscarriage on Jan. 10, 2011. I have been waiting for it to hit me hard and for me to cry it out, but so far I am not sure if I have fully grieved. I can be watching TV or listening to a song and I will just start crying. Anything that reminds me of our lost sets me off. I wonder if this will be forever? I miss and love my Angel baby so much! I strongly believe that our precious baby is now our gaurdian Angel of fertilty. Even though we lost her, I still feel like I am Mother, I will always be a Mom, even though I didnt get to hold my child or kiss my sweet baby. I know what it is to love my child more than anything and I believe that this makes me a Mom! No, I know that I am a Mother and I always will be. I take comfort in this, but the pain is still very real and so hard. I know my Angel is with God in heaven and I take comfort in this. I pray that it is God's will to grant us the blessing of conception again, along with a healthy 9 months of pregnancy <333

May God bless you all and may all your prayers be answered <333

I recieved my first BFP ever, sadly I am loosing the baby :(

Yesterday I recieved the call that my BETA was 8.6. I am Pregnant, Praise God! I was told to be cautiously opptimistic. I knew deep down that most likely my little Sweet Pea would not survive, but I also believe in MIRACLES!
I went in for blood work this morning and my BETA is dropping, :(  I was told to stop the progesterone and I will naturally miscarry. I am very sad, but at the same time I feel relief. I have been asking, sometimes begging God for a sign. I wanted to know if IUI is the right path and if it was even possible for me to concieve. I am relieved to know that DH and I can concieve (because we just did) and this is a reason to rejoice. I am sad because I am losing my baby as I write this. I know I am only 4w 1d, but the pain is still very real. Yeasterday was THE BEST day of my life so far. So now I will have an Angel baby in heaven and I do totally believe this. I have recieved my sign and I am thankful for this.

When AF arrives I will be moving on to IUI #3. I am praying that 3rd times a charm and by the end of the year I will be holding our baby in my arms :)