Well I finally recieved AF on Jan. 10th. I went to my RE the next day for b/w and u/s. I alreday had a dominant follicle growing, but my left ovary showed a cyst. He thought I would be fine and that I could start my stim. meds, but the b/w came back with my estridol ay 431. So I am now on Birth control. I take four pills a day for five days! This seems like alot to me, but I only have one more day left. I am praying that the cyst is gone when AF comes after I am finished with the BCP.
As you all I know I had my first pregancy and then my first miscarriage on Jan. 10, 2011. I have been waiting for it to hit me hard and for me to cry it out, but so far I am not sure if I have fully grieved. I can be watching TV or listening to a song and I will just start crying. Anything that reminds me of our lost sets me off. I wonder if this will be forever? I miss and love my Angel baby so much! I strongly believe that our precious baby is now our gaurdian Angel of fertilty. Even though we lost her, I still feel like I am Mother, I will always be a Mom, even though I didnt get to hold my child or kiss my sweet baby. I know what it is to love my child more than anything and I believe that this makes me a Mom! No, I know that I am a Mother and I always will be. I take comfort in this, but the pain is still very real and so hard. I know my Angel is with God in heaven and I take comfort in this. I pray that it is God's will to grant us the blessing of conception again, along with a healthy 9 months of pregnancy <333
May God bless you all and may all your prayers be answered <333
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
I recieved my first BFP ever, sadly I am loosing the baby :(
Yesterday I recieved the call that my BETA was 8.6. I am Pregnant, Praise God! I was told to be cautiously opptimistic. I knew deep down that most likely my little Sweet Pea would not survive, but I also believe in MIRACLES!
I went in for blood work this morning and my BETA is dropping, :( I was told to stop the progesterone and I will naturally miscarry. I am very sad, but at the same time I feel relief. I have been asking, sometimes begging God for a sign. I wanted to know if IUI is the right path and if it was even possible for me to concieve. I am relieved to know that DH and I can concieve (because we just did) and this is a reason to rejoice. I am sad because I am losing my baby as I write this. I know I am only 4w 1d, but the pain is still very real. Yeasterday was THE BEST day of my life so far. So now I will have an Angel baby in heaven and I do totally believe this. I have recieved my sign and I am thankful for this.
When AF arrives I will be moving on to IUI #3. I am praying that 3rd times a charm and by the end of the year I will be holding our baby in my arms :)
I went in for blood work this morning and my BETA is dropping, :( I was told to stop the progesterone and I will naturally miscarry. I am very sad, but at the same time I feel relief. I have been asking, sometimes begging God for a sign. I wanted to know if IUI is the right path and if it was even possible for me to concieve. I am relieved to know that DH and I can concieve (because we just did) and this is a reason to rejoice. I am sad because I am losing my baby as I write this. I know I am only 4w 1d, but the pain is still very real. Yeasterday was THE BEST day of my life so far. So now I will have an Angel baby in heaven and I do totally believe this. I have recieved my sign and I am thankful for this.
When AF arrives I will be moving on to IUI #3. I am praying that 3rd times a charm and by the end of the year I will be holding our baby in my arms :)
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