Sunday, January 16, 2011

Great... Now a Cyst in my ovary ... ARGGHHH and Small things are sending me to into saddness

Well I finally recieved AF on Jan. 10th. I went to my RE the next day for b/w and u/s. I alreday had a dominant follicle growing, but my left ovary showed a cyst. He thought I would be fine and that I could start my stim. meds, but the b/w came back with my estridol ay 431. So I am now on Birth control. I take four pills a day for five days! This seems like alot to me, but I only have one more day left. I am praying that the cyst is gone when AF comes after I am finished with the BCP.

As you all I know I had my first pregancy and then my first miscarriage on Jan. 10, 2011. I have been waiting for it to hit me hard and for me to cry it out, but so far I am not sure if I have fully grieved. I can be watching TV or listening to a song and I will just start crying. Anything that reminds me of our lost sets me off. I wonder if this will be forever? I miss and love my Angel baby so much! I strongly believe that our precious baby is now our gaurdian Angel of fertilty. Even though we lost her, I still feel like I am Mother, I will always be a Mom, even though I didnt get to hold my child or kiss my sweet baby. I know what it is to love my child more than anything and I believe that this makes me a Mom! No, I know that I am a Mother and I always will be. I take comfort in this, but the pain is still very real and so hard. I know my Angel is with God in heaven and I take comfort in this. I pray that it is God's will to grant us the blessing of conception again, along with a healthy 9 months of pregnancy <333

May God bless you all and may all your prayers be answered <333

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