We Lost Our Baby :( We now have 2 children in Heaven.

I got the horrible news on April 15, 2011 that my Beta had dropped. A miscarriage is on the way. :( I am beyond words. My body feels as if my heart and soul are slowly and painfully being ripped from my body. When I wake up the next morning I feel EMPTY. I feel as something Huge has been lost and that it will never be found or put back. The empiness feeling is probably the hardest to deal with. What once was a growing healthy new life in my womb is now dying and leaving my body. This is so painful. I am trying to stay strong but it is hard. This is our second child we have lost in 4 short months. It doesnt seem fair, but my faith tells me that there is a reason that my baby had to go with God. My faith is still strong! I will not give up this fight! God is good! I believe 100% that we WILL have a healthy child soon. Infertility will NOT win! We WILL win!!! This is a promise to myself and just something that I have faith in.

I am only one out of 8 million Amercians who is suffering with this disease. I believe more awareness needs to be brought forth. The government does not seem to take this disease as serious as it should be taken. Only 14 states in the USA have mandatory insurance coverage for IF. The rest of us have to pay Everything out of pocket. I feel Infertility is compared to cosmetic surgery and that infuriates me! The places that we infertiles have to go to for loans are the same company's that give loans for boobs jobs, I mean WTF!?!? Most woman are born with completely healthy reproductive organs and having children is just the normal thing, it's the way God made woman. Well Infertility means that we have some underlying problem or disease that is keeping us from being able to reproduce. Why isnt it seen this way??? Something needs to change. Infertiltiy is a very real disease. It causes horrible depression and aniexty. It causes plenty of physical pain. We need a change and we need it soon! Please help this cause in anyway that you can. Do some research and find ways to help. Chances are that someone close to you is suffering but they are suffering in silence due to embarassement. As a woman it is embarassing not to be able to do what most other women can due without any second thoughts about it.
I have lost the only children that I have to Infertility and I will Never give up this fight!

18 days post IUI #4 ~ God is Great!!!

I had my thrid Beta test today and am so happy! I am relieved and full of joy and praise! My faith is so strong and 100% believe that we have a completely healthy and strong baby growing inside my womb. I have been praying to God, Jesus and Saint Gianna everyday, a few times a day. I am so grateful for our miracle!

Beta's are suppose to double every 48hrs to 72hrs, but 48hrs is the normal range. Here are my results so far!
13dpiui- Beta 25 ... Progesterone 10
14dpiui- Beta 37 ... Progesterone 17 (this one was taken 24hrs from the first one)
18dpiui- Beta 150 ... Progesterone 20.1
I go in Wed. for another Beta whitch is done through blood work. We are looking for it to be somewhere around 300.
Then in about 2 weeks we will have our very first ultrasound. We will get to see our Sweet Pea and hopefully be able to hear a nice, strong heartbeat!

Tomorrow, April 12th, is my birthday and this is the most Amazing birthday I have ever had. I am so blessed and I am so thankful and grateful for the new life that we created and all the amazing people in my life!

Dear God, Jesus and St. Gianna,
I praise and worship you! I am so thankful and grateful for the strong and healthy new life that is growing perfectly in my womb. I feel You all with me and it is so amazing. Please watch over our miracle baby always. Please let my Beta's keep rising and doubling every 48 hrs. Please let our baby have a strong heartbeat. Please let our baby be completely healthy in everyway. I have complete faith in all of You. I always need You, but right now I really need You all more than I ever have before. I believe 100% that you will protect the new life growing in my womb and give us a healthy 9 months of pregnancy and finally the delivery of our healthy child! Thank you so much for this Wonderful gift, this Amazing miracle! I am so grateful! Please hear and answer these prayers God, Jesus and St. Gianna. I have complete faith in all of You and I love You all with all that I am.
Amen!

God is Great!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

IUI #4 = Big Fat Positive!!! God is Good! :0)

Well today was my first BETA 4/6/2011. I am either 12dpo or 13dpo. It is hard to pinpoint the exact date. I had gotten the call in the early afternoon. The first thing I hear is "Congratulations you are Pregnant"!
Praise God was my first thought. This may finally be THE ONE, our miracle baby.
My first Beta was 25.
 I was hoping and praying for a higher number, but I am filled with Joy! My progesterone was 10. So things are looking pretty good right now. I go back tomorrow morning 4/7/2011 for another Beta to check and see if it is rising. I am scared because just 3 short months ago we lost our precious baby. I do not know if I can handle another loss. I have faith in God and I believe that my Beta will show a nice rise tomorrow. That is the most important thing in early pregnancy, my Beta HAS to rise or else I will miscarry and loose another one of my precious children. I have been praying to Saint Gianna and I feel that she is with me.

I need my lil Sweet Pea to continue growing, to be healthy and strong, and have my Beta numbers rise consistantly. This is a very stressful process. Tomorrow could be The Best day of my life! My birthday is on April 12th. This is the most amazing birthday present Ever! I am so very blessed! Thank you God, Jesus and Saint Gianna for giving us our miracle that we have been waiting for. I have complete faith in You all and I believe with all my heart and soul that You will protect our little one from any harm so that we will have a healthy 9 months of pregnancy and deliver a healthy child.
God is Great!!! <3 <3 <3 <3