We Lost Our Baby :( We now have 2 children in Heaven.

I got the horrible news on April 15, 2011 that my Beta had dropped. A miscarriage is on the way. :( I am beyond words. My body feels as if my heart and soul are slowly and painfully being ripped from my body. When I wake up the next morning I feel EMPTY. I feel as something Huge has been lost and that it will never be found or put back. The empiness feeling is probably the hardest to deal with. What once was a growing healthy new life in my womb is now dying and leaving my body. This is so painful. I am trying to stay strong but it is hard. This is our second child we have lost in 4 short months. It doesnt seem fair, but my faith tells me that there is a reason that my baby had to go with God. My faith is still strong! I will not give up this fight! God is good! I believe 100% that we WILL have a healthy child soon. Infertility will NOT win! We WILL win!!! This is a promise to myself and just something that I have faith in.

I am only one out of 8 million Amercians who is suffering with this disease. I believe more awareness needs to be brought forth. The government does not seem to take this disease as serious as it should be taken. Only 14 states in the USA have mandatory insurance coverage for IF. The rest of us have to pay Everything out of pocket. I feel Infertility is compared to cosmetic surgery and that infuriates me! The places that we infertiles have to go to for loans are the same company's that give loans for boobs jobs, I mean WTF!?!? Most woman are born with completely healthy reproductive organs and having children is just the normal thing, it's the way God made woman. Well Infertility means that we have some underlying problem or disease that is keeping us from being able to reproduce. Why isnt it seen this way??? Something needs to change. Infertiltiy is a very real disease. It causes horrible depression and aniexty. It causes plenty of physical pain. We need a change and we need it soon! Please help this cause in anyway that you can. Do some research and find ways to help. Chances are that someone close to you is suffering but they are suffering in silence due to embarassement. As a woman it is embarassing not to be able to do what most other women can due without any second thoughts about it.
I have lost the only children that I have to Infertility and I will Never give up this fight!